My life, through my eyes

So yeah, this post has nothing to do with any gadgets or technology…its just about my life, and what I have done with it for the past 25 years, and what I plan to do with it in the future. I gotta admit, I am not very good at expressing my feelings, but whatever…I wanna do this.

Looking back, I have always been an underachiever, even though I was brilliant, and could always come up with a plan. And I admittedly still am. I suppose the main reason for this is, I cannot and will not do stuff that I don’t like, plain and simple. If something doesn’t attract my attention, it will always and forever be ignored. Also, I have a bad habit of procrastinating…a lot. I always do things at the theoretical 11th hour.  I tried to change myself…and have a lot, but I suppose it’s ingrained, and I have gotten used to it. I admit, I could have been so much more than what I am now, and I still can, but something or the other always holds me back. Yeah I know, I suck. But hey, I am working on it and have changed myself over the years.

I never really had a childhood. I have always been the kinda guy who would rather sit in a room and read books than go out and play with friends. Not that I didn’t play with friends! I did, a lot actually. But it was not…enough, certainly not as much as kids of my own age used to. I never had many friends (could count them on my fingers). I was (And still am) an introvert. I don’t talk to everyone I come across, and probably never would. Yeah I do talk to people when they talk to me first, but otherwise, I talk to people I am comfortable speaking to. Now that I have a job, I have to interact with different kinds of people everyday, and I do, but I still am an introvert. I hate crowds, I don’t talk to just everyone. But the people I do talk to, or am friends with,  I care for them a lot, maybe too much. When it comes to friends, I place even my own life as secondary to theirs. I can do whatever is possible for them. But then I have been treated by such “friends” in such a shitty manner in the past that my heart have hardened a lot. At times I have said “that’s enough”, and walked away. So now trust comes sparingly to me. But yeah, I do still care.                                                                                                                                              (to be continued)

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